Songs of Middle Earth
by Haldir's Lil'Gremlin
Summary: Song Parodies including : I'm your Sam and Wonder Elf. (non slash- non offensive-well not anymore..) Wonder Elves- Legolas and Haldir!
1. I'm Your Sam

This is ode to "Sam the Brave" and oh so loyal. Isn't he just so sweet?  
  
This is a parody of a song by Leonard Cohen....whom not a lot of you shall have ever heard of,for this I am sorry,but it's a laugh,some of his other songs may be transformed for the good races of the Fellowship,whether or not that shall happen is another story.  
  
Disclaimer: As I said,the original song, "I'm Your Man" , was written and sung by Leonard Cohen,and you all know who the book was by...and no,it wasn't me-no suing please,that would put a damper on my day...  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
"I'm Your Sam "  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
  
  
If you want an elf,  
  
I'll put on pointy ears for you,  
  
And if you want a ring wraith,Valar knows,  
  
I'd wear a cloak for you.  
  
If you want Gollum that's just wrong,  
  
He shouldn't be mentioned in this song...  
  
Here I stand.  
  
I'm your Sam.  
  
  
  
If you want a bodyguard,  
  
I will take an orc for you.  
  
And if you want a gardener,  
  
I will plant a tree for you.  
  
If you want a confidante,  
  
Tell me why.  
  
Or if you want to mistake me for a pie,  
  
Here I stand...  
  
I'm your Sam.  
  
  
  
Now the hills too tall,  
  
It's, too far to fall,  
  
The cave troll won't go to sleep.  
  
I've been running through the promises I made,  
  
But couldn't keep,  
  
You seem so sweet,  
  
Even if I'm begging on my knees.  
  
I'll save you when you're drowning,  
  
And I'll drag you to your feet.  
  
Quick,let's get to Mordor,  
  
then you'll really feel the heat.  
  
And I'll claw at bad Sauron,  
  
And I'll tear at Sauroman,  
  
Yes I'll kill 'em with ease,with ease.  
  
I'm your Sam.  
  
  
  
  
  
I know we've got to sleep a while out on the road,  
  
I'll shoot innocent deer for you.  
  
If you want to work the street alone,  
  
that's just tough for you.  
  
If you want a father for your child,  
  
I'm not a hobbit who is wild.  
  
Here I stand...  
  
I'm your Sam..  
  
  
  
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I improved it! See? No Slashiness! (Not that I don't like slash- but this is for everyone!)  
  
Sorry to make you read this ^^;  
  
Plz review, flames dually noted with thanx and excepted. 


	2. Wonder Elf Tenacious D's Wonder Boy Leg...

That's right it's another song. This time it's not by Leonard Cohen, but by the best duet eva!  
  
This song is dedicated to the two greatest elves in the book!  
  
That's right- Legolas and Haldir! (Don't worry though, no slash.)  
  
Disclaimer: I regret to inform you that I,like so many others, do not own Lord of the Rings including both characters I'm using,namely Legolas and Haldir,we know who has the honor of that. The song which I am borrowing is by Tenacious D and is entitled " Wonder Boy ".  
  
Enjoy.  
  
  
  
*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*  
  
Wonder Elf  
  
*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*  
  
  
  
One his way to Mor-E-Dor,  
  
Castle of brimstone,  
  
There goes Wonder Elf,  
  
Though he's not alone.  
  
Many races with him  
  
On his way to Mor-E-Dor.  
  
Yeah...Yeah.  
  
  
  
Legolas,  
  
What is the secret of your power?  
  
Legolas,  
  
Won't you take me far away from the Mor-E-Dor now?  
  
  
  
Now it's time for me to tell you of great Haldir,  
  
Trusted friend and guardian of Lorien,  
  
With powers comparable to Wonder Elf's!  
  
"What power?" you ask?  
  
Well not the power of flight,  
  
That's just foolish,  
  
Yes, thats levitation Pip.  
  
How about the power to kill an ocr..  
  
From two hundred miles away...  
  
With mind arrows!!  
  
That's telekinesis Sam.....  
  
How about the power....  
  
To soothe you..  
  
  
  
Mystery of Wonder Elf and Great Haldir,  
  
Rigga Dug Dug Rigga Dug Dug,  
  
A secret to be told,  
  
A gold chest to behold,  
  
And blasting forth in movie trilogy.  
  
Yeah!  
  
  
  
Legolas,  
  
What is the secret of your power?  
  
Legolas,  
  
Won't you take me far away from the Mor-E-Dor now?  
  
  
  
Well Wonder Elf and Great Haldir should join forces,  
  
They'd form a band the like of which have never been seen,  
  
And they'd call themselves Tenacious E.  
  
That's right Haldee and L.G,  
  
They'd be Tenacious E.  
  
  
  
Can't fly with me,  
  
Fly!  
  
  
  
Legolas,  
  
What is the secret of your power?  
  
Legolas,  
  
Won't you take me far away from the Mor-E-Dor now?  
  
  
  
Ai! Ai! Take my hand,Great Haldir,  
  
Oh crap.  
  
Bring out your broad sword,  
  
There's Lord Sauron.  
  
Slice his hand,  
  
And grab the ring.  
  
You take the high road,  
  
I'll take the low.  
  
There! The cravas!  
  
Fill it!...  
  
With your mighty truths..  
  
  
  
*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*  
  
Are you blind yet? ^.^"  
  
R'n'R please! 


End file.
